Connecting across cultures in Srinagar

India – June 2024

The story about my first few days in Kashmir reminded me of the fun last afternoon in Srinagar. When the check-out day at Ahmed’s guesthouse arrives, I’m not ready to leave the pleasant weather and mountain scenery behind just yet. Since he is fully booked for the next week, I reserve the last available bed at Zostel Srinagar, the local branch of the India-wide hostel chain. While I only plan to stay 1 more night before departing for Amritsar, I head over to the new accommodation a short walk away around lunchtime, hoping to meet some nice travelers there. I check in with the receptionist, who tells me the bed should be ready soon. So I take off my shoes, switch to the hostel sandals (we’re still in Asia after all) and sit down in the lobby area.

Only shortly after I have made myself comfortable, an Indian guy who introduces himself as Abishek sits down next to me. He asks me where I’m from, gifts me a flower, which he has picked from the hostel garden, and goes on to invite me for a hike with some other hostel guests. Happy that everything seems to be working out as I was hoping for, I accept the offer and meet the rest of the group back in the lobby after dropping my backpack in my dorm. Clearly, Abishek is a guy who is used to being the life of any party. He announces that the driver is here and steps outside while still wearing the hostel slippers and jeans. Everyone gets into the jeep and a quick introduction follows:

The only other girl on the team is Sanaa, born in Srinagar but mostly grew up in Delhi, where she still lives. Then there are Akshay and Aman from Rajasthan and Bangalore who are traveling around Ladakh and Kashmir with Abishek. And finally Allrich and Tajender from Goa and Punjab who are creatives on a vacation. Still not quite sure what I signed up for, I try to figure out where exactly we are going. Judging by everyone’s outfits, the answer isn’t too clear either. Allrich and Tajender (Taj) seem to be looking for sightseeing and possibly a photoshoot, while Sanaa, Aman and Akshay are dressed in hiking gear. I ask Sanaa who is sitting next to the driver and seems to be the one in charge of navigation. She tells me that the hostel staff recommended a nice viewpoint and a hiking trail in the area.

The car is supposed to take us to a settlement below Astan Marg, from where we can continue to the upper viewpoint on foot. While the driver does his best to get us to our destination fast, safely, but not necessarily comfortably, we spend the next 30 minutes playing “Connect”. The game is simple, but requires some general knowledge and understanding the other players’ way of thinking and their interests. Since I’m quite new to India, I don’t understand all of their pop culture references. But I learn A LOT of random facts, and the rest of the group does their best to include whatever knowledge they have of Switzerland and Japan. Like that, we quickly bond and time flies.

Connect – Game Instructions

• One player (the “host”) thinks of a word and reveals only the first letter to the group.
• The other players try to figure out the next letter by “connecting.” To connect, a player gives a hint based on a word that starts with the given letter (e.g., “Swiss tennis player. Connect.”).
• If another player has the same idea, they also say “Connect.” On the count of three, both say their word.
  • If they match, the host reveals the next letter, and the game continues.
  • If they don’t match, the group must try again.
• The host can also guess the players’ word. If correct, the players must start over with the same letter.
• At any point after a successful round, players can guess the full word. The game continues until the full word is revealed.

We make good progress and soon find ourselves driving up hairpin turns above Lake Dhal. Just below Masjid Khulafa-e-Rashideen, the guys grow impatient and decide to stop the driver. They think we can easily continue the walk from here, and all of us get out of the car. When Taj asks where exactly they saw a trail. The adventurous Ashkay vaguely points to the steep hillside field and mutters something about a shortcut to the next curve. We follow him off the asphalt street and into the bushes. Despite his more than inadequate footwear, Abishek is almost running in the front of the group, while Allrich and Taj soon fall back due to their newly discovered fear of heights. Since the 3 adventure buddies won’t compromise on walking on asphalt, Allrich and Taj decide to split up from the rest once we reach the safety of the asphalt street.

Sanaa and I join the freestyle hike across farmland spotted with the odd bushes here and there. We mostly follow the path the nomadic shepherds left behind and along the way even end up meeting them, their herd of sheep and goats as well as the working dog Lily. While Ashkay tries to talk to the shepherds, Abishek is running after the sheep to take pictures with them, and Aman can’t stop complementing Sanaa and me on our level of fitness. Apparently, he didn’t expect us to keep up so well. After this pit stop, the weather suddenly seems to turn. With still around half of the way to the viewpoint before us, we muster up our strengths and move on quickly. As the terrain gets steeper, I can’t help but wonder how Abishek is managing in his slippers.

Luckily, we arrive at the empty lot at Astan Marg before the rain. There we also find Allrich and Taj who already finished filming the shots they wanted and are now happily playing music on their speakers while enjoying the view. Aman produces the food he was carrying for everyone from his backpack before asking the most popular question in India: “Veg or non-veg”. We share a mix of potato chips, spicy chicken, some maggi noodles and fried vegetables for a late lunch before taking a commemorative group photo. Then, the guys go a bit wild and suddenly feel the need to show off their muscles. So, Sanaa and I have the pleasure of documenting their push-up-challenge.

Somehow, this exercise does not seem to be enough for them. So we continue on our quest to find the ultimate viewpoint, which supposedly is set a little further up the hill. On a slightly better marked trail, we pass some aunties from the village who are gathering wood in crates. They mention that the weather will be turning quickly and suggest we look for some shelter. Fortunately, we soon find an abandoned hut, because only minutes later the rain starts to pour. Since Allrich didn’t bring any raincoat, I lend him my poncho while we wait for the shower to pass. Luckily, it doesn’t last too long, and we can return to the village without getting soaked. On the way I down, I have an interesting conversation with Sanaa.

She tells me that she is at times struggling to live up to the expectations society has for women in India. She also mentions that this solo trip might have been the first time ever that she was able to be herself, laugh and behave in a way that feels natural to her around men. Then she says, “Growing up, I sometimes wished I were a boy. Life would have been a lot easier”. I don’t have anything to add to this statement and can only hope, that in the generations to come, girls will have it easier. Then the guys catch up and change the mood with some silly jokes that would definitely not be considered proper if a woman were to tell them around men. After a short break at a neighbourhood shop, we are picked up by the driver, who takes us back to Zostel.

After returning to the accommodation, we realize that the whole group is staying in the same room. We take turns showering and meet up in the cafeteria for dinner about an hour later. The menu is large and we share some vegetable biryani and butter chicken with naan along with the local specialty tea with honey and lemon. Then it’s time for today’s match of the cricket world cup. Of course, the game is shown on the TV in the common area, but nobody actually seems to be paying much attention. Instead, we play Settlers of Catan and more rounds of Connect well past midnight, until one by one everyone goes to bed – or in Ashkay’s case, falls asleep on the floor sofa.